"Squeaky Voiced Teen: Don't worry folks, your comfort and safety is in the hands of highly qualified teens like myself. We're required to take an extensive training course and not wear facial hair! Enjoy the show, and keep the screaming down - I have a math test to study for! If I get a C, I'll get kicked out of the Audio Visual club!"

"Homer: Alone at last!
Marge: Bob's trying to kill the kids!
Homer: It just gets better and better!"

"Sideshow Bob: Now the last thing you'll ever see! ...A legally required safety video."

"Homer: Come on everyone, sit down - time's-a-wasting. The faster you get on the ride the sooner I can hit the bathroom. Move along already so Sideshow Bob can kill us! Hey, let's play the sit down game! Rule number one - sit down. Rule number two - keep doing it. Rule number three - the end. Now sit down, all the seats are the same except the ones that are better. I'll make an annoying noise until you sit down! (Annoying noise) Okay, ride's over. KIDDING!"

"Sideshow Bob: I've taken over every area of the park, there's no place you'll be safe from me. And now enjoy the ride that's about to be demolished! While you're riding it!"

"Homer: Wow we're the first people to ever ride this baby. We're like that space guy that did that moon thing!
Lisa: Neil Armstrong?
Homer: No. Chewbacca!"

"Homer: We're both big and round and didn't finish high school!"

"Lisa: We'll save you! Onward convenient whale!"

"Homer: I hate chain reactions!"

"Sideshow Bob: You've foiled my plans for the last time!
Bart: You've soiled your pants for the last time?"

"Homer: Home sweet, d'oh!
Foolish earthlings! Don't you know all rides must end near the gift shop?"

"Ralph: I'm a baby bird!"

"Homer: We're on vacation! Can't you kill me on a work day?"

"Professor Frink: Never fear! A nerd is here!"

"Krusty: Well that's our ride... hey what does THIS do?"